BEST MAN’S SPEECH

You are likely one of the groom’s best friends and want to give a speech that reflects that friendship and your well wishes for his happiness as a married man. Here are some pointers to consider.

1. The speech need only be around 5 – 8 minutes long and definitely not longer than 10 minutes. Keeping it relatively short will mean that you are more likely to keep the attention of the guests who may be eating, drinking or minding children whilst you’re speaking.

2. What to include can be a major stumbling block for many people. Think about writing your speech around some well-chosen stories. The beauty of using stories is that everyone loves stories, you will enjoy telling them and you can say more about your friendship with the groom through a story than any other way. It will also make it easier to remember your speech.

3. Choose stories that will appeal to everyone, things like how you met (perhaps you started school together), some escapades you had together (clean ones), stories that highlight the groom’s good qualities, how he met his new wife, what he told you about her – you get the picture. Remember, some members of the bride’s family and guests likely know very little about the groom so your stories will enlighten them somewhat.

4. Steer clear of any bawdy stories or anything that might offend either the guests or the couple.

5. Avoid jokes. Jokes can backfire dramatically. Many people present may have no idea why you are telling a particular joke and if it is an in-joke, will only speak to a few people. No need to embarrass yourself by telling jokes.

6. Include something about the new bride – perhaps something you thought as their relationship developed, how you knew she was the right one for your friend or something else that is complimentary and appropriate.

7. So now you have the body of your speech, you need an introduction. Something like “hello everyone. My name is …….and I was delighted when ……asked me to be his best man. ….and I have been friends for ….years……”

8. And finally, bringing it to a conclusion with a well wish to the couple.

And there you have it. Your speech written.

Further Considerations

1. Prepare your speech well in advance. Sometimes a person will come to see me for their fear around giving their speech a couple of weeks beforehand, and they haven’t yet finished writing it.

   This is leaving it very late. Practice is extremely important, especially to avoid nerves about forgetting anything. The more you practise, the more you will know whether you want to change anything and your delivery will develop and refine.

2. Practise in different scenarios – in front of a mirror, in front of your partner, in front of a friend or friends. Not only can you then get feedback from them, but you are practising what will happen on the day, i.e. having an audience.

3. It is perfectly fine to use notes. Nobody is expecting a professional speaker-class performance. Do whatever makes you comfortable.

4. Remember, it is a happy day and the focus is on the couple. Your smiles and relaxed posture will be just the right thing when giving your speech. Don’t forget to congratulate yourself afterwards.